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Mon, Jun. 18th, 2012, 06:31 pm
srmarybadass: science has no words for what is wrong with my brain

Title: Steve the Straight Guy
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Tony/Mike, Peter/Phil, implied Tony/Peter/Mike
Summary: Sometimes being the only straight guy in the band can be a bit of a trial. 
Disclaimer: : Any similarity between the fictional version of the person or persons portrayed here and the actual person or persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person(s) on the basis of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person or persons). I am not casting aspersions on the sexual orientation or activity of the characters represented within, and furthermore if Mr. Peter Gabriel ever stumbles across this, I'm very sorry sir. You're just so hot.

Steve would like to get one thing straight: he is.

No, seriously, he likes girls. Most guys do, and that’s ok. And some guys don’t, and that’s ok too. Less competition.

Steve is pretty sure none of his bandmates like girls all that much, even though a few of them actually look pretty girly. In fact, one time, while drunk as hell, he had wandered into the wrong room and saw what he thought were two weirdly tall chicks kissing (which – wow) but upon closer inspection had proved to be Mike and Tony.

They’d actually been quite nice about it and helped him back to his room, where he proceeded to drink another half-bottle of whiskey because while he liked those guys, he did not need those images burned into his brain. By the time he had gotten over the hangover the next day, he honestly didn’t care that Mike and Tony were like, a thing. Like, together.

And then this one time, he had gone into the room Phil and Peter were sharing because he needed to borrow a pen – he had an idea, man, he needed to write that shit down! – and it had been very quiet, you know, Peter was passed out from the long day and Phil was sitting up doing a crossword puzzle. Nothing out of the ordinary at all.

Well, except for the fact that they were in the same bed.

So. Phil and Peter. Mike and Tony. That made sense to Steve. He could do the math. (And hey, it meant more girls for him!)

What he doesn’t understand is Peter’s “sleepovers” with Mike and Tony.

They happen often enough for him to notice, which should tell you something about their frequency. And after the third time he sees Peter sneaking into Mike and Tony’s room, he gets a little suspicious, because Phil’s his friend, you know, and he doesn’t want anyone getting hurt. So he keeps an eye on things and notices that Peter doesn’t leave until the morning. And Steve is pretty damn sure that they aren’t just braiding each other’s hair (although, with them, that might be a valid possibility).

He decides to do a little investigating.

As casually as he can, he wanders into Phil’s room, on the pretense of looking for Peter.

“Hey, Phil. Do you know where Peter is?” Right. That sounded totally casual. Man, he was good at this investigating stuff.

“So you finally got up the balls to ask about the sex thing.”

Damn it!

“Uh…so you…know about that?”

Phil rolls his eyes. “I suggested it.”

“What?” What?

“Sometimes Peter has a little too much energy for me. Sometimes Tony and Mike – well, I’m not actually sure what exactly they like, but I’m pretty sure it’s kinda kinky. And sometimes I like to sit back and pop open a beer and watch some cowboy movies without Peter’s hair falling into the nachos. The arrangement works out pretty well.” He shakes the bowl of nachos at Steve. “Wanna join me?”

And that was how Man Cave Night got started. It always happened on Kinky Threeway Night too, and everyone was quite satisfied with the whole arrangement.

The end.

Wed, Jun. 20th, 2012 01:21 am (UTC)

Sorry, I didn't mean to make it creepy! /awkwardself I feel vaguely guilty, almost, for finding this fandom several years too late. I kinda wanna go fishing for readers elsewhere on the internet but I'm nervous people I know will realize this is me and then I'd have to explain myself, I just want to Genesis